I’ve been unemployed for a while now. And after roughly 80 applications, I’m really hoping that this awesome (it’s hasn’t been awesome at all, don’t for one second think that I like being a bum) “vacation” will be coming to an end very soon. So, in the spirit of ‘dressing for the job I want and not the job I have’, I have removed my totally awesome metallic orange nail polish for something less flashy (i.e. something not at all fun or sexy). In an interview, one mustn’t be flashy, artistic, or creative. One must put all the focus on themselves and their qualifications; the only thing that should be shining is your personality! Therefore one’s wardrobe, accessories, and makeup need to be as freaking boring as possible (unless you’re interviewing for some kind of artistic, hippie, cool ass job). Normally, I sport a very sexy red color on my nails, cause…I’m one foxy lady, but I dug in my bag of random Christmas gifts and found a bottle of Avon Cotton Candy pink nail polish shown above. Now, to be clear, the above picture is not of my hand. I keep my nails hella short, also I have a weird skin tone and petite hands which aren’t nearly as perfect as the above picture, so this color just isn’t for me. Furthermore, I absolutely hate pastels and light pinks and I now feel like a PTO member, mother of 3, who just made jello in an Easter egg mold to bring for the class snack. (No offense to people who like pink, the PTO, mothers of 3, jello, Easter, or class snacks) Ugh! I just don’t like this color at all! I really want to get this job though, so I’m hoping to trick the Universe by looking super professional. After all, one doesn’t go to an interview wearing jeans, a top, a ponytail hairdo, and circus make-up! No, one must be in a suit, professional pumps, slick hair, and natural colors all around (yeah, this pastel pink nail polish is natural as all get out, let me tell you). Only after you get the job can you start to relax the dress code and sneak in the fun stuff. I can’t wait to be on a payroll so I can rock some fiesta red nail polish, dark plum eye shadow, and some patterned tights with a pencil skirt! Until then…this Vagabond is professionally nailed.