Professionally Nailed

photo stolen from makeupagirlsbestfriend.blogspot.com

photo stolen from makeupagirlsbestfriend.blogspot.com

I’ve been unemployed for a while now. And after roughly 80 applications, I’m really hoping that this awesome (it’s hasn’t been awesome at all, don’t for one second think that I like being a bum) “vacation” will be coming to an end very soon. So, in the spirit of ‘dressing for the job I want and not the job I have’, I have removed my totally awesome metallic orange nail polish for something less flashy (i.e. something not at all fun or sexy). In an interview, one mustn’t be flashy, artistic, or creative. One must put all the focus on themselves and their qualifications; the only thing that should be shining is your personality! Therefore one’s wardrobe, accessories, and makeup need to be as freaking boring as possible (unless you’re interviewing for some kind of artistic, hippie, cool ass job). Normally, I sport a very sexy red color on my nails, cause…I’m one foxy lady, but I dug in my bag of random Christmas gifts and found a bottle of Avon Cotton Candy pink nail polish shown above. Now, to be clear, the above picture is not of my hand. I keep my nails hella short, also I have a weird skin tone and petite hands which aren’t nearly as perfect as the above picture, so this color just isn’t for me. Furthermore, I absolutely hate pastels and light pinks and I now feel like a PTO member, mother of 3, who just made jello in an Easter egg mold to bring for the class snack. (No offense to people who like pink, the PTO, mothers of 3, jello, Easter, or class snacks) Ugh! I just don’t like this color at all! I really want to get this job though, so I’m hoping to trick the Universe by looking super professional. After all, one doesn’t go to an interview wearing jeans, a top, a ponytail hairdo, and circus make-up! No, one must be in a suit, professional pumps, slick hair, and natural colors all around (yeah, this pastel pink nail polish is natural as all get out, let me tell you). Only after you get the job can you start to relax the dress code and sneak in the fun stuff. I can’t wait to be on a payroll so I can rock some fiesta red nail polish, dark plum eye shadow, and some patterned tights with a pencil skirt! Until then…this Vagabond is professionally nailed.

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I Love Blonde Joke(r)s!

Hopefully, they won't get mad that I took this off of one of their pages...

Hopefully, they won’t get mad that I took this off of one of their pages…

So, life is hard; in fact, sometimes it really sucks. There are moments when you feel like there’s no one there for you, and that you have the worst luck cause, well, crappy stuff just keeps happening. In those moments, it’s easy to feel completely alone, and just let yourself sink into a pit of sadness that will be that much harder to escape. In those moments, I turn to people who put things in perspective, and lasso me into laughter with a rope full of puns, sarcasm, and ridiculousness. And what’s even better, these ladies can get their drink on (which is really fun for me to watch cause I need to get out more)! In case it isn’t obvious, I’m referring to the lovely and hilarious (pictured above from left to right) Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and Jenna ‘Marbles’ Mourey.

Whenever I’m feeling especially down, I go on a youtube binge and spend an hour or more watching these ladies, and laughing myself out of my funk. Sadly, I’ve had to employ that technique much more often of late; luckily I just started watching Daily Grace, so I have plenty of fodder for the laughter fire. Like Jenna Marbles, I start my days by holding my degrees and sobbing, then I move on to a large mug of coffee (one must have their priorities after all) while I scour the job boards for employment listings. Ahhh, living the dream…

I actually discovered these comedic souls in reverse order from above. A classmate suggested I look up Jenna Marbles after she caught on to the fact that I sing-narrate what I do sometimes, or make up songs to express my joy about the simple things in life (ahhhh, I love my “Purple Chucks” song….it’s about how I love my purple chucks). So between classes, or while taking a break from a 8 page Spanish research paper, I would watch some Jenna Marbles hilarity. It gave me the time to completely move my mind to a different space, take some deep breaths, and relax before moving on to a French research paper and going to my full-time job (in case you’re wondering, I slept very little, lost lots of hair, and got a B on almost everything cause I didn’t have the time to get A’s). How does one describe Jenna Marbles? Hmmm, awesomeness in the form of a rainbow, radiating from a unicorn’s bottom! Now, let’s move on to Hannah Hart. Bye Spiderman!

Jenna Marbles actually was the one who introduced me to the world of intoxicated cooking. JM did a parody of My Drunk Kitchen, which led me to watching the MDK videos for comparison. Thank goodness I did! Hannah Hart, is a wonderful, talented, adorably sexy young woman with a big heart (so, I have a crush on her…so what..jeez). Apparently, MDK started with Hannah making a video for a friend…and the rest was intoxicated history. Hannah got me through my post graduate slump while I was a private tutor/teacher and slowly began to realize that A: What I thought I wanted to do probably wouldn’t happen, and B:What I discovered I wanted to do might be harder than I thought. I just feel like we have a lot in common since we’re both totally cute, learned other languages, and like helping people, plus she likes Dr. Who!! Boop Boop!

In completing the cycle, Hannah introduced me to Grace seeing as how she’s a frequent guest on MDK, and I finally decided to check her out. She seems to be the only one of the three who actually went into comedy and online videos as a profession instead of a happy accident. Basically, Grace utilizes sarcasm, impressions, and faces to make any activity a laughter inducing ray of sunshine in the cloudy sky of my day (yup, feeling like a failure is totally awesome). She seems like a pretty special lady, and luckily I have another year’s worth of videos to get me through what are hopefully my last days of unemployment. From me, she gets 4 Vagabond faces (she’d get 5 if she introduced me to Hannah).

Anywhoo, these ladies have helped me make it through crashed dreams, unemployment, and failed relationships. Thanks to all of you for the laughs, and support (even though we aren’t friends in real life and you have no idea who I am). These three ladies are definitely vagabonds at heart, and we are quite possibly kindred spirits. So, you all should go and check them out if you haven’t already! I made it easy; just click on their names above to view some of my favorite videos!

P.S. I would now be talking about Natalie Tran, who posts videos as Community Channel (she was my first YouTube discovery/addiction), but over the last year she fell off the scene without warning…and she’s not blonde. Where is she? No one knows…doesn’t that sound mysterious??!