Perplexed in Reno…

Here is my current situation. I moved 1800 miles to take a position that I thought would define my place in life. Well, it’s had the opposite effect. The job fell through, and now I’m trying to get out of a city I don’t like and trying to find a job that won’t make me want to take a large dose of arsenic. It’s looking more and more like finding a job before moving is going to prove difficult, so I’m left with the unstable position of moving without a job. This, as you can imagine, has made me terribly anxious. True, my friends would be happy to have me back home, and are willing to house me for as long as necessary, but this also makes my anxious. You see, I like to have a certain element of control in my life, and right now it’s sadly lacking. Also, I hate the idea of having to depend on others that much. Yes, I’ve had to go to family before, hat in hand as they say, and I’m doing it again now, but I just hate it!

Recently, I was talking with a friend, and she encouraged me to look at my situation differently. According to her, the world is my oyster (I’ve always found that expression to be kinda nasty) and the fact that I have nothing tying me down and no where that I have to be is something I should appreciate. I could go anywhere, do anything (so on and so forth). Basically, the possibilities are endless. On one hand, I guess I can see this way of thinking. No one is expecting me anywhere…so it doesn’t matter where I go or when I get there. But on the other hand, I could end up in another city, out of a job and out of money. Taking this into account, it’s really hard to see my current situation in a positive light.
I figured I’d go back home (St. Louis) and live with friends until I find a job, and I planned on making the trip as fast and short as possible. My friend, G, had another thought. Why don’t I see some great things on the way?! It’s not as though there’s a time limit, and when will I next be driving across the country? Welp, I think this is a fabulous idea! As long as I can rustle up a tent and some camping stuff to keep me from spending too much money on motels along the way, it could turn into another adventure and an opportunity to see some great sights! The Grand Canyon, the Petrified Forest, The Valley of Fire, etc.
I was starting to re-think this idea when I was catching up on the New Girl, and it’s like the universe was talking to me…as though I had sent a letter into an advice column! And, the universe responded, Dear Perplexed in Reno….! Jess (played by the fabulous Zooey Deschanel) was laid off, and Nick told her the same thing G told me. There’s nothing holding you back, and all of these possibilities are open to you! It was so crazy to be hearing almost the exact same words, that I decided I should take them to heart. So, I’m trying to look at my situation as less of a set back and more of a unique opportunity. Where will I go from here? I’m not quite sure, but I know the journey will be an adventure. I will embrace the self-given title of ‘Vagabond’ and hit the road not looking for a destination, but looking for an experience.

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